looking back at my FOND MEMORIES. :)
25th November 2006 - 12.04am
gonna missed you guys tmr. aww.. im going to taiwan for like 8 days! and im in short of clothing! ah... hahas. anws. during my trip there, i will remember you guys de. especailly you i guess. sighs. ok whatever. i'll say that later. hmm. anws, erm from tmr afternoon until 3rd dec late afternoon, dun sms me or call. cos 1, i will not ans. 2, if you guy or you call at night, my dad will know cos he will use my SIM card, as there is auto roaming. erm yupps. that all. hees. oh ya. lets talk about ytd, which was like 9 minutes ago. :)
hmm. ytd was.. i dunno. a mixture of feelings i guess. it has smiles and laughter yet it also has tears and sobs. ytd was my school's open house. i went, cos mr gan called me the day before and asked me to come. so i just went. i was scared that i might see him in sch yet im excited that i might be able to see him again. sighws. totally pathetic of me huh. still waiting for him. it has been more than a week since he smsed me or replied my smses. to be exact, it has been 8 days. excluding today. but i doubt he will smsed me today anws. so i might just as well count today, that makes it 9 days. 9 days = 216 hours = 12960 mins = 777600 secs. sighs. thinking of it, i wonder i even lived man. 9 days! WOAH! impressive. my frens tried calling him and his phone seem to just cut off our phone. sighs. and all the smses i send all went in to thin air. sigh sigh sighs... anws, when i walk into school today, alone, i looked around as i step into the gate to find my click but they are no where in sight. then while looking, i saw calvin and his click. OMG! hahas. a OMG with excitement and a terrified heart. hahas. then when i walk through the canteen (kinda), they went "woooooo~~~~~ calvin calvin calvin" i heard. DURR... they were loud alright. only the deaf cant hear them. then i was like went totally red then i picked u speed then when i walk towards the toilet. hahas. i went to the toilet to calm myself down. pathetic freak, i know. since its very late now, i think i shall make it short. almost through out the time there, he avoided me, or rather, we avoided each other. sighs. but i tried to like dun avoid him so i went to where he was, either in the shop or the barbeque pit. but after a while he will go to the another place. like if i was at the bbq pit, he would stay in the shop then when i am at the shop, he would go somewhere else or he would go to the bbq pit. grr. i was kinda pissed. then the guys took my hp and took a photo of calvin. i thought he did a act 'cool' action but when i looked at it nearer. it was not. it was BOTH of his middle finger. im sure that he know that that is my hp taking the photo. and he did that acton. what does it mean? i dun wanna think about it. tears are starting to well. sighs. whatever. i delete it anws. just to let you know.anws, then bout 1 he and his click went home or rather i think, they went out. then i just hanged out with my click loh. then after a while, cai yun was like "you looked gloomy without him." i was like "are you sure?". i was indeed sad but i didnt expect it to be written on my face. sighs. then after calvin and his click went, i and my click took so much photos. ( they are all below. ) oh ya. i forgot to tell you guys i changed my hair-do. but i didnt cut my hair.
then its like we went home. i was pretty gloomy, i dunno why.. i felt like crying but the tears doent seem to come out. until dinner, when i was eating my dinner, my 'rents have a badminton game with their friends. i wasnt in the mood. so i didnt go. they need to leave early. so i agreed to go home alone later. then when that are out of the door, i have the urge to cry and the tears seem so much that i cant control any longer. so i thought since my 'rents have already left. i rushed to the toilet and cried. i didnt know what or who i was crying for. it just flowed out. in order to not make it obvious, cos when i cry, my eyes and nose will go reddish. so i splashed water on my face to make the rest a little redder and water so the tears would be covered up by the water. sighs. then after that when i went home, i was hearing the song "juan lian" bu F.I.R. when i reached my door step, my eyes pricked but i managed to control it but when i reach the inside of my house. i felt so weak, so lost. so i sat down on my kitchen chair. and the tears started welling in my eyes. and 'drip drip drip', it all dropped down. sighs. i think i should run off and head to sleep. sighs. good nites. wish me luck. and also strength to overcome his stuffs okie? thankies. will appreciate all those. :'(
these are all in the past. ; meant to be forgetten
