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looking back at my FOND MEMORIES. :)

27th October 2006 - 12.03am

hmm... is it very late now? should i be sleeping? i know you ( calvin ) are now. errr. i look at your sms-es. calling me my darling, my princess. im gonna scream my head off. for a happy reason of cos. hahas. one caught my eye especially "ok... wan to be my stead?" sigh yo yo. you practically ask me two times already. hahas. i gotta admit that i really like you. but... i dun want to betray my PRINCIPLES of LOVE. i am finding true love in every relationship im going to have, not just a guy that i call darling, dear dear, lao gong, etc.

BIGGEST PROBLEM = IM IN LOVE.

get it? im too lost in you. ( the song im listening now. ) i like you but.... u like THREE girls at a time, including me. if you only like me. OH MY GOSH! i probably might faint right at that instant. hahas. but you are not. and it seems that you like <___> more than i do. you are saying that you are getting not to like <______> anymore but.. the question is "ARE YOU SURE?" sigh ya ya. i want to accept your stead. ( DURR.. ) but half of me dun want to.
its like an angel and a devil fighting.

angel says "dun stead.", "dun betray your principles of LOVE."
devil says "go ahead and stead.", "dun you like him? follow your heart."

hmmm.. follow my heart. and forget everythng else. HA! this kind of relationship will never ever last. sighs. i just gotta feeling that you might walk out off me after we stead and when im madly in love. im really scared. or isit just my imagination running loose again. you said once to me that you are not that type of boy who dumps and tortures girls. hahas. not that type of guy. just one sms. DONE! broke a heart, tears rolling, no appetite, smiles gone, memories lost. i had a SIMILAR experience and im telling you that it totally sucks. never try. never ever. i HATE it. every single feeling. my smiles got washed away, my big mouths of food became glued into one small marble, tears-tap came loose, feel like crying every now and then. HORRIBLE feelings. i have gone through it so i dun want to feel the same way anymore. at least let a relationship be a nicest memory in my life, excluding my future husband. hahas. :) wonder who will it be? hahas. leave it to GOD, dude! * smacking myself. * hahas.

i told im going to think about it. hmm... how?! people are telling me to accept. they obviously dunno that i have principles of LOVE. im not a flirting bitch, you know. i have principles! PRINCIPLES of LOVE!!!! hahas. :) hope that you can make me trust you whole-heartedly. cos when it comes to relationships. im damn reliant. hahas. and i get jealous very easily. hahas. espeacially if i really like you. hmm... sighs. :)

these are all in the past. ; meant to be forgetten