looking back at my FOND MEMORIES. :)
31th October 2006 - 11.48pm
sighs. i dunno should i be happy or sad?
im feeling this am-i-happy-or-sad feeling. and its feels HORRIBLE.
i think im more of sad today. sighs. in maths supplementry, calvin talk to me and had a few conversation with me. but 80% of it was out to piss me. im tired then so i didnt really see it too deeply until... there was a long "break" because mr yong needa go for a meeting. so he left us with two worksheets. and told us to finsh this two worksheets then go for our break at bout 10. he will be back at 10.30. so.. we kinda played and did our work. the guys took my hp which i immediately took out after mr yong left. i was in TOTAL need of music. i just left it on the table and did my work. then the guys took my hp right off the table. and went to 'explore' for 'boyfriend' sms-es, 'boyfriend' pictures. which i obviously did not have. except for some sms-es for calvin. most of it i deleted away already. but i left some in my saved messages. bout 2, i guess. then there was one "my princess" in my inbox. it was the first one from the bottom. hmm.. they went to see my sms-es. then ming kang played the games. which was a TOTAL WASTE OF BATTERY!!! hahas. then cai yun asked for calvin's hp. i wanted to see. but nah.... i dun want to face reality. so i just said, "i cant be borthered, i cant be borthered." which was a TOTAL BLUFF!!! sighs. so cai yun explored his hp. and found.............. sighs. <______> and <___>'s sms. maybe it has mine. but it was either way below or it was sure to be found in the rubbish bin. there was also their photos. but not mine. i didnt want my photo to be taken anws. sighs. after maths supp, i and cai yun and jol went home. jol went home first, leaving me and cai yun alone. it was burning hot, and i was getting thirsty. so i went to buy 'sweet talk'. cai yun and i then went to the bus-stop to wait for our bus. we sat at the pathment and started to talk. we chat and chat. then i took out my hp to play some songs. and also check if calvin sms-ed me. but obviously nothing. i played songs. then cai yun asked for my hp. and i naturely gave it to her. she went to see my messages. and found my 'saved messages' empty. i showed her my saved messages in the morning on the way to school. so she knew that there was some 'darling' souvenirs in there. but she said it was empty. and i immediatly took my phone and comfirmed it. sighs. indeed, it was empty. i looked at her knowing what happened. she saw my face and she knew it too. calvin deleted it when he took my phone. no wonder he took my phone. sighs. i still thought what. checked my photos and stuffs. sigh sigh sighs!!!! how much more stupid-er and idiotic can i be?! sighs. i asked cai yun does she think that calvin is worth my liking. and she IMMEDIATELY answerd "NO!". hmm.. guess she was kinda right. KINDA?! more like RIGHT ON THE SPOT! sighs. then... we went home. i tried smsing him today too, about 8. after princess hours ended. but until now, still NO reply. sighs. i still thought he might be sleeping already, but i just check the sms-ed time. it was 7.59pm, to be exact. obviously NOT SLEEPING TIME!!! sighs. i cant help but think that im his little barbie doll. when he is feeling bored, he take me out and played tea with me, treating me like im really his little PRINCESS. but when he saw his other barbie dolls, he immediately throws me into the wet and smelly toilet bowl and goes to play tea with them.
THIS IS PATHETIC!!!! i cant believe i even like you!!! whats in you?! NOTHING!! but i still fall head-over-heels with you. sigh
these are all in the past. ; meant to be forgetten
